IIHF Division II Hockey Championship, Day Five: Last Day of School Edition

Final day of the tournament
And so we come to the end of a hockey-filled week in Mexico City. Five days, fifteen games, all for the low, low price of $C33. Walking into the Pista de Hielo Lomas Verdes, with its refrigerated air, was like stepping back into Canada. After eight months in Mexico, it was the perfect antidote to homesickness. For a week I had the good fortune to lose myself in the poetry of the game, sometimes played well, sometimes played frustratingly poorly, but always with a passion that any Canadian would recognize.

At times, the stands were nearly empty (I’m pretty sure I was the non-employee who attended every game; make of that what you will). All the better to focus on the game itself, stripped of any imagined patriotic, ethnic or nationalist significance. The teams all represented different countries, but I had no horse in this race. I just wanted to see some good hockey.

Canadians, it will surprise no one, take their hockey way too seriously, to the point that it sometimes stands in for our national character. If Team Canada had lost at the Olympics, as it easily could have, you can be sure that the usual suspects would have weighed in about what this meant for the country (hint: nothing good). As it happens, “we” won, and instead Canadians across the country basked in the reflected glory of “our” Olympians.

Of course, we regular Canadians have no right to even this indirect glory. The triumph belongs to the players alone, and perhaps their families and friends. It has nothing to do with “Canada.”

What’s good about the game is in the game itself. This basic truth is a bit clearer in an empty arena, surrounded only by the friends and family members of the players giving it their all for the 60 minutes it takes to win or lose a game. The victories and defeats are theirs, and theirs alone. As spectators, we can only watch and admire. Claiming victory for “our” team is presumptuous.

This is even clear during Mexico’s matches, when the arena was packed with cheering fans. The arena, though, is small – capacity of maybe a thousand or so – and I’m told that everyone in that arena had some connection with the minuscule world of Mexican hockey. The cheers were for Mexico, but they were also underpinned by personal relationships.

Too often, sport is hijacked by opportunists in support of ideologies and agendas that have nothing to do with either the people playing the game or the game itself. Nationalism. Beer. Support for the military and wars. Civic pride. Sometimes this is harmless fun: sports are always more fun when you’re cheering for or against a team, and you have to choose a side somehow.

But it can also go too far, such as when a city ponies up tax money to help pay for a private arena, or when Don Cherry disgracefully uses his Coach’s Corner pulpit to push the idiotic “support our troops” bludgeon to shout down those of us who believe that Canada’s military involvement in Afghanistan is a tragic mistake that is wasting Canadian lives and money in support of foolish, unworkable policies. Players may be motivated by historic grudges, but we as spectators have no right to bring our own to the match and should be wary of doing so.

Hockey, like any sport played well, is culture; it’s art in motion. It possesses an intrinsic value too often obscured by whether “our” side wins or loses. To watch hockey, as a Canadian, in Mexico, away from the jingoism, commercialism and nationalism of the Olympics and Hockey Night in Canada, is to appreciate anew the game for what it is: fast, sometimes brutal, exciting, elegant, and filled with passion.

It was worth every penny.

Bah. Enough already with the mushiness. On to the recaps!

Day Five: Saturday, April 17, 2010
Australia 5, Belgium 2
I’ve been trying to figure out how to describe Australia’s style of play. They don’t have Spain’s explosive speed, though they’re not slow. They lack Belgium’s fluidity, but they can skate and they certainly play like a cohesive unit. They’re not built like tanks like the Bulgarians, but they’re a strong, physical team. Rather, they possess a superior complete game: if no one factor stands out, neither does one notice many systemic flaws.

Oh, and they’re lucky enough to have a great goalie. He stood tall for the Aussies in the first and second periods especially, stopping some quality Belgian chances. And when he was finished holding the fort, frustrating Belgium, Australia’s offence grabbed the puck and took care of business at the other end of the ice. In the end, it looks like this game was a tale of two goaltenders, and today at least, Australia came out on top.

Great goaltending, good defence and good offence. Yeah, I guess that’ll win you some games.

Spain 9, Turkey 1
This game felt like the last day of school: everyone knows how it’s going to end and everyone’s already received their report cards, but you still have to show up. Spain, well, Spain played like a team that had already won the tournament, which means they won without running up the score. After a six-goal first period, they let up considerably, contenting themselves with containing Turkey’s weak counter-attack. And in keeping with the anti-climatic nature of the game, Spain’s postgame on-ice celebration was much more subdued than the elation they expressed after the narrowly beat the upstart Mexican team the previous night.

That’s not to say that Turkey didn’t have their moments, even in such a lopsided game. Their goalie made a spectacular diving glove save in the second period, maybe one of the best of the tournament. After the save, his teammates celebrated with him: a small victory in a tough game.

Bulgaria 5, Mexico 2
After Mexico’s last hard-fought loss against Spain, I had thought that Mexico had a short at winning this game. However, there would be no miracle on ice tonight. Even though Mexico was first on the board with a nice passing play (Mexico doesn’t pass much, but seem to score every time they do) about five minutes into the game, Bulgaria quickly tied it. By the end of the first period, Bulgaria had staked an insurmountable 4-1 lead.

For the rest of the game, Bulgaria contented themselves with protecting their lead against a Mexican team that continued to exhibit the same strengths (speed, an aggressive forecheck, good defence, bursts of individual flair and talent) and weaknesses (inability to set up plays quickly, passing, inability to capitalize on scoring chances) they had throughout the tournament. Bulgaria, meanwhile, managed to salvage a second win in what has to have been a disappointing tournament for a team whose talent didn’t seem to match their 2-3 record.

Final Thoughts and Stray Observations

So that’s how it ends: undefeated Spain moving up to Division I, Australia finishing second, Belgium third, Bulgaria fourth, Mexico fifth, and Turkey relegated to Division III.

Congrats to Spain on a fantastic tournament. But, if the catcalls from the Mexican puck bunnies during the awards ceremony are anything to go by, the Australian team won where it counts.

****

The PA system could have been better. The sound was muddy and it completely cut out randomly throughout the tournament. During the awards presentation that followed the Mexico-Bulgaria game, I couldn’t understand what the individual awards were for. And the announcer was speaking in English.

The erratic PA system led to a disturbing moment at the beginning of the Mexico-Bulgaria game, in which the announcer called for a moment of silence for someone who had died. I can’t tell you more than that because all I could make out was something along the lines of (said in English) “please stand to pay respects for… brutally murdered … young girl … be sorely missed,” followed by a song in Spanish. Very uncomfortable, at least for me.

****

I don’t watch enough international hockey to know if this is common, but I really enjoyed how the teams saluted the crowd and their fans at the end of each game, raising their sticks in the air. Even nicer that the crowds unanimously returned the favour to all the teams. Nice display of sportsmanship.

****

On the third day of the tournament, a bus wrangler guy with a raspy voice helped me get the right bus from the metro station to the arena. We talked a bit about the tournament. This morning (Day Five), he asked me for the score in the Mexico-Spain game, and I told him Mexico lost 4-2, but played really well.

“No me mientes!” he exclaimed – don’t lie to me! “Mexico is terrible at hockey!”

Dude, just for the record, and on the extremely remote chance that you ever read this, I wasn’t kidding. Mexico has potential. If they play the way they played against Spain, that is.

****

I wrote part of this article at an American-themed restaurant next to the arena. Signs that it’s an American-themed restaurant? Wings and burgers on the menu, which also included Duff beer and Krusty Burgers for the kids (the burgers, not the beer). And a life-size Sgt. Rock-style toy soldier army statue out front, leaning forward, growling, gun at the ready. Give that soldier a cigar and the image would be complete.

****

Did you know that one can access the engines of Mexico City’s microbuses, those mainly green VW-sized minivans that provide an important part of the city’s public transit, from inside the bus? I found this out on the way home after Day Four’s games. Bus started to stall, or rev too much, or something, during a rainstorm, and they opened her up, took a look, and then drove her for about another kilometer – with the cover off – before giving up and flagging us down another bus. Sure, it was a bit odd hearing, seeing and smelling a broken engine from the inside of the bus, but the transit system here is still more efficient than Ottawa’s.

****

After watching three live games a day for five of the last seven days, I can now turn my attention to the first round of the NHL playoffs. Truly an embarrassment of hockey riches.

IIHF Division II Hockey Championship, Day Four: Playoff Hockey!

Five quick notes from Day Four of the tournament.

1. Every time a team scores (and there have been a hell of a lot of goals in the past four days), the announcer plays canned applause, followed by that overused Gary Glitter abomination. I wish he’d stop. When the stands are empty (generally, the first two games of the day), it just reinforces how empty the arena is. When they’re full, you don’t need it.

Seriously. Canned applause invites unfavourable comparisons to Montreal Expos games at the cavernous and reliably deserted Big O before they mercifully moved the team out of town.

2. While it’s easy to make fun of soccer’s low-scoring, coma-inducing tendencies, in hockey, blowouts aren’t that exciting either. Counting today, of the tournament’s 12 games, only four have been competitive (with either team having a chance to win it going into the third), and one of those was eventually decided by a five-goal margin.

The result? In the absence of any serious tension or (to date) major upsets, my enjoyment of this tournament has come largely as a result of seeing good plays well executed.

3. I was reminded today by a fellow who works for the Mexican hockey team that for the Mexican players (and doubtless for the other teams as well), it’s an accomplishment just to be playing Division II hockey. In Canada, our world championship teams “suffer” from a lack of preparation because the players usually join the team once their NHL teams are out of the playoffs. In Mexico, not only did some of the players get to town only a week or so ago, but the best Mexican players are often unavailable because the team can’t afford to pay their regular teams (sometimes AHL franchises and the like) enough insurance money.

Remembering things like that, and the fact that these are players who aren’t playing 80-plus games a year at an elite level, makes every goal, good play and blocked shot that much more impressive.

4. I think I mentioned this before, but of the away teams, Australian and Spanish fans are the noisiest and most exuberant, and on a per-fan basis, nobody can touch the Aussies.

5. Probably the oddest thing about this tournament is that they don’t serve alcohol in the arena. That’s right: spectators willingly gather to watch a sporting event for its own merits, without the promise of booze. That’s more than can be said about baseball.

Day Four: Friday, April 16, 2010
Belgium 5, Bulgaria 4
Keep in mind that I’ve never seen any of these teams play before this week, but I can’t imagine that the Bulgarian team is very happy with their tournament: crushing Turkey only to be crushed in return by Australia and (unsurprisingly) Spain, and then losing a close game to Belgium. Despite its closeness, Bulgaria never held a lead, though they managed to tie it twice in the second (3-3 and then 4-4), before finally ceding the winning fifth goal in the third, as Belgium capitalized on a five-minute major with that period’s only goal.

As with the other games, Bulgaria has skill and discipline, though Belgium was the faster team. Bulgaria was also helped by some stellar goaltending, notably for a spell in the second period in which Belgium, up 4-3 attacked hard but to no avail. While this game lacked the speed and end-to-end action of the previous day’s Belgium-Spain game, it was nice to finally see a game in which the outcome was in doubt right to the end.

Australia 10, Turkey 1
Despite the lopsided score, this one seemed to have the potential to be much, much worse for Turkey. Australia, thankfully, refrained from completely humiliating Turkey: during a short-handed three-on-two in the second, for example, the Australian player elected to dump the puck into the corner rather than press the advantage. When you already know that you’re going to win, there’s no point in hammering home the point.

And since Turkey’s had such a rough tournament, kudos to their fans who cheered so enthusiastically when Turkey posted their one goal of the game. Very classy.

On an unrelated note, the announcer played Men At Work’s “Down Under” after several of Australia’s goals. Nice to see they’re having fun up in the booth.

Spain 4, Mexico 2
Oh, man. Given the two countries’ history, Spain versus Mexico was destined to be the tournament’s marquee game, and the two teams delivered a tense, exciting game, with a huge assist from the overcapacity crowd. As with Mexico’s first game, the stands were packed, and fans were lined up two deep behind the glass in the end zones. The cheering started in earnest eight minutes before the game itself began. The atmosphere was as electric as any NHL playoff game.

The festive mood carried over to the game itself, with the crowd cheering every hit in a physical game. And Mexico, somewhat to my surprise, gave them lots to cheer about. Where Belgium tried (and failed) to skate with the faster, skilled Spanish side, Mexico concentrated on playing smart, picking their chances and (in the first few minutes) icing the puck a lot. As their reward, where Belgium finally collapsed in the third, Mexico stayed with Spain to the bitter end.

Spain opened the scoring first, with a power-play goal in the first period on the second of consecutive Mexican penalties. By the midway point of the second, the tournament’s best team was up 2-0 over the home team.

Still, helped by good defencee and some fine goaltending (including stoning Spain on a breakaway in the third), Mexico never gave up, and were rewarded for their persistence with a power-play goal with 20 seconds to go in the second period to make the score 2-1. The crowd? Deafening.

And when they tied it in the third, they got even louder. Mexico actually had a chance to win this one, and in fact they had every opportunity. Not only did the teams spend a lot of time in the Spanish end of the rink, but Spain took several penalties, including a few five-on-threes and a five-minute major to end the game. Still, Mexico was unable to translate these advantages into goals.

For all their speed and skill, from my vantage point in the stands, it looked like the Mexican players could not complete a pass to save their lives. Instead, they’d opt for the wraparaound, or for the dramatic deke. When the forwards would pass to the defence, it would take the defenceman a second or two to set up for the shot, giving Spain precious time to move into position.

In the end, it took a perfect deflection in front of the Mexican net from a pass from the middle of the left circle to put Spain ahead for good, with just over eight-and-a-half minutes to go in the third. A short-handed empty-net goal finished it all.

Spain celebrated like they’d won the Stanley Cup. Mexico, looking dejected, but not that dejected, were saluted with verve by their fans, and with good reason. Against the best team in the tournament, and in a tournament in which tight games have been the exception, Mexico more than held their own. Their defence and goaltending were excellent, and while they need to work on their offence, they demonstrated both great individual talent and team potential. If, for countries in which hockey is more curiosity than religion, simply getting to the Division II level is an accomplishment, Mexico proved that they belong there, and have the potential to go even higher.

Final Thoughts
With Spain (4-0) having sewn up first place and a trip to Division I, and Turkey (0-4) heading to Division III, second through fifth are the only spots still up for grabs. In a fortuitous bit of scheduling, the final day’s games see Australia (3-1) and Belgium (3-1) fight it out for second, and Bulgaria (1-3) and Mexico (1-3) battle for fourth. These two games should be exciting; for the first time in the tournament, it’s not immediately clear who’s going to win. As for the other game, as I said the other day, it’s too bad that Turkey’s final game will be against Spain.

IIHF Division II Hockey Championship, Day Three: Mexican Heartbreaker

Putting aside the games themselves for a moment, there’s one question that I’m sure readers of these tiny, pithy dispatches (hi, Dad!) are wondering: “What music do they play during hockey games in Mexico?”

Short answer: Lots of Rage Against the Machine and The Strokes. I’m not just talking “Bombtrack” or “Wake Up” (the Matrix theme): they go deep into Rage’s catalogue. In the three days of the tournament, I’ve even heard a truncated version of NWA’s “Fuck Tha Police” (cut off halfway through the first “fuck,” unfortunately). That was pretty cool: you won’t be hearing that at the ACC anytime soon.

The music has, for the most part, been surprisingly decent, seemingly selected by someone with an affinity for British and what used to be called “Alternative” music back in the day. They still play some typical arena fare – generic grunge and dance music, “We Will Rock You” and that Gary Glitter annoyance – which are probably required by the terms of the IIHF tournament contract, but it’s been balanced off by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, the Killers, the Kills, and Anthrax and Public Enemy doing “Bring the Noise.” I even heard “Boys Don’t Cry” by The Cure, surely one of the least sporty songs ever. And has anyone ever heard VHS or Beta’s fantastic and completely arena-appropriate “Night on Fire” during a Canadian hockey game?

One of the afternoon games even featured not only Motorhead (“Ace of Spades,” natch), but some hyper-aggressive metal that wouldn’t be let within 100 kms of an NHL arena.

Canada was also represented by Hot Hot Heat (“Goodnight Goodnight”), and even by Stompin’ Tom, doing “Sudbury Saturday Night,” of all things – just kidding! If you like hockey, you can probably guess what Stompin' Tom song played. Oh, and a special appearance by Skid Row’s “Youth Gone Wild.”

Ah, memories. I still have my Skid Row “Skids Across Canada” T-Shirt from when they opened for Aerosmith on their P.U.M.P. tour, back in 1863.

I regret nothing.

What I haven’t heard, outside of Mexico’s first game and the Mexican Hat Dance, which gets played every time Mexico scores, is any Mexican music, or any music in Spanish for that matter. The closest you get is Pitbull’s “I Know You Want Me” and “Hotel Room Service,” which are also at the top of the metro bootleg CD vendors chart (just behind the Black Eyed Peas’ assembled-by-machines-for-human-enjoyment hit “I’ve Got a Feeling”).

On to the recap! (No photos, unfortunately. My stupid camera died after one shot. You’ll just have to paint pictures with your mind.)

Day Three, Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Belgium 13, Turkey 1
I was really dreading this game. By this point in the tournament, it’s clear that Turkey has trouble skating with Mexico, let along a smooth-flowing Belgian team that continues to impress and are generally a joy to watch. The Turkish players showed flashes of individual talent and speed, but the outcome of this game was never in doubt. Turkey did take too many penalties that (as in their previous game against Mexico) led to too many power-play goals, but so many of the penalties were the result of attempts to slow down a superior Belgian team that it’s unlikely that a more disciplined Turkish team would have fared much better.

I couldn’t see many, or any, Turkish fans in the “crowd” of about 25 spectators, which is too bad: if ever a team needed moral support, it’s Turkey.

Spain 10, Bulgaria 3
I still haven’t figured out whether Bulgaria is as bad as their 1-2 record suggests. After humiliating Turkey, Bulgaria has been dismantled by Australia and now Spain. On individual plays, it doesn’t seem like Bulgaria’s playing badly: they demonstrated some great passing and stickhandling ability in the plays leading to their second goal, and their goalie has played well in bursts. Bulgaria’s collapse was slightly less dramatic than Belgium’s, but the end result was the same, and even included a short-handed goal with just over a minute to go in the game.

Oh, and Spain’s final goal was a penalty shot, in which the goalie wasn’t allowed to use his stick. I’ve never seen or heard of this happening before.

That said, Bulgaria has the distinction of being the only team to have a lead over Spain, 2-1 early in the game. It only lasted about ten seconds, but it’s something. I’ll be surprised if Spain loses a game or fails to blow out its remaining opponents.

Australia 5, Mexico 2
What a heartbreaker. Mexico really, somehow, had a chance to win this one. I had been expecting to see a repeat of Australia’s manhandling of Bulgaria. Instead, the capacity crowd was treated to an energized Mexican side that, despite their continued inability to play as a cohesive unit, spent a considerable amount of time buzzing the Australian net.

Australia didn’t help their own cause, starting the game by having to kill a two-man power play. They eventually managed a 2-0 lead, the first goal courtesy of a generous rebound and the second a rocket over the shoulder of the remarkably tiny Mexican goaltender.

Improbably, Mexico finally capitalized on their power play with a shot from the blue line that made it 2-1 and brought the fans to their feet. Unfortunately for Mexico, Australia replied with a fluke goal, dribbling over the Mexican goaltender’s glove hand to make it 3-1.

But Australia couldn’t finish Mexico off. Mexico’s tiny goalie kept his team in the game with some brilliant goaltending, which helped Mexico kill off a 4-on-3 Australian power play. He couldn’t do anything about Mexico’s main deficiencies, however: a lack of passing and set plays. It’s a lot easier to defend against a team, even when the other team has a two-man advantage, if you know that the player with the puck is either going to shoot, or make a weak pass.

Again, improbably, Mexico in the third period managed not only to kill off a two-man advantage, but in a rare display of precision passing across the Australian goalmouth, scored the best goal of the tournament. 3-2, and the crowd is on their feat, roaring “Sí, se puede!” (“Yes we can!”) Nobody cheers like Mexicans. If a band, or their team, performs competently, they’ll cheer enthusiastically. And if the people they’re watching pull off something fantastic, they go nuts. Mexican fans are, hands down, the best fans in the world.

Which made it extra devastating when, with nine minutes to go, Australia put the game away with a nice goal that had the tiny (a couple dozen, maybe) Australian contingent somehow matching the entire hundreds-strong (maybe thousands; I’m no good at crowd estimates) in volume.

Like Bulgaria, I can’t get a handle on the Australian team. This game shouldn’t have been as close as it was. Was it Mexico’s sheer force of will and fantastic individual playmaking (and there were many examples of brilliant individual plays), egged on by a supportive crowd that nearly cost Australia the game? At any rate, Australia’s final game, against Belgium, is going to tell us a lot about both teams.

Final Thoughts
Here’s how things stand, three days into the five-day tournament. Spain, barring highly unlikely collapses against Mexico and Turkey, should end this tournament undefeated; they also have the highest goal differential (+18).

The real battle is for second place, and right now Belgium (2-1, +10 goal differential) has the edge over Australia (2-1, +4); the two teams play each other on Saturday, the final day of the tournament. Mexico, surprisingly to me, is currently in fourth place, with a 1-2 record and a surprising +1 goal differential; kudos to Mexico’s goaltending. However, the battle for fourth place will likely come down to Saturday, when Mexico faces Bulgaria (1-2, -5). Winless Turkey (-28 goal differential), well, playing against better teams is the only way to become better yourself. Too bad they have to end the tournament playing Spain on Saturday.

IIHF Division II Championship: Day Two

Twenty years from now, when I’m looking back on my eight months in Mexico, I’m probably not going to remember the many, many days I spent writing and interviewing people for my dissertation. It’ll be the interesting things I’ve done here that’ll stick. Like seeing Hello Seahorse!, the best band you’ve never heard of, performing in front of Diego Rivera’s striking Museo Anahuacalli. Spending time in the National Anthropology Museum. And figuring out, out of desperation, how Mexico’s anarchic-seeming microbus system works.

The Pista de Hielo de Lomas Verdes, where the IIHF Division II (Group A) championship is being held, is a little out of the way. Technically, it’s not even in the Distrito Federal, but in the State of Mexico. From where I live in the south of the city, it takes over an hour to get there, longer if you don’t know what you’re doing. Getting there from my damp but homey little hovel requires a subway trip the city centre (abut 40-45 minutes), a transfer to an east-west subway line (another 30 or so minutes), and then either a taxi or microbus to the arena (about 10 minutes, much more if there’s traffic).

Yesterday (Sunday), I took a cab to the games, but afterwards, I had to flag a microbus to get back to the metro, before it closes at midnight (I made it with about 20 minutes to spare). Today, on the way here, I couldn’t find a trustworthy-looking cab among the myriad buses, so with the help of one of the bus wranglers, I managed to find one heading in my direction – think a natural-gas powered modern VW minivan (Mexico’s microbuses run the gamut from the ultra-modern to those that are kept running through the judicious application of duct tape and sheer force of personality). Mexico’s non-metro transit system is not user-friendly, especially if you don’t speak Spanish. Luckily, I speak Spanish, but even then, it was thanks to a friendly passenger that I managed to get off at the right spot. Victory!

Day Two, Monday, April 12, 2010
Australia 11, Bulgaria 4
This is all a long way of saying that I was late in joining the 20 or so people in the crowd and missed the first period of the Austraila-Bulgaria matchup, and too bad: it looks like it was a corker. By the time I showed up, Australia, which had been shut out the day before by Spain, was enjoying a 3-0 lead and playing with the confidence that I guess comes with a 3-0 first-period lead. Nine minutes into the second period, Australia was up 7-1. The full-throated Aussie contingent were obviously pleased by the result (disclosure: My wife recently received her Australian citizenship, and I find the cheer, “C’mon Aussie!” to be quite charming).

It’s not that Bulgaria played a bad game: Australia had a lot of great chances and were able to capitalize. And while Australia deserves full credit for their victory, I like to think that Bulgaria’s loss was partly the result of karmic payback for Sunday’s crushing of Turkey.

Spain 6, Belgium 1
You’d never guess it from the final score, but this was easily the best, most evenly matched game of the tournament, featuring end-to-end action, a high level of play, fantastic passing and saves, and lots of scoring chances. Only a late-game collapse by Belgium kept this one from being a stunner.

Despite the score, Belgium actually had a great game. They held the game to a scoreless tie after one period, and were down only 2-1 at the end of the second. The difference was speed: while Belgium was able to play with Spain for about 40 minutes, Spain’s explosive speed eventually wore down what is a skilled, disciplined team. Belgium started to fade at the end of the second, and were kept in the game by some fantastic goaltending, but eventually the dam broke.

Belgium and Spain’s national colours are so similar (Black, Gold/Yellow, Red) that the game physically resembled an intersquad match. And kudos both to the Belgian and Spanish fans in the crowd (which had swelled to about 50 people, including the Australian team, who graciously autographed some hockey jerseys and sticks for some local kids). One girl even had a home-made “Vamos España” sign (looks like the team took her advice), though I don’t understand why the Belgian fans chanted, “Go Belgium Go” (not a translation). I’ll avoid drawing any conclusions about what this might tell us about intra-Belgian language politics.

Mexico 9, Turkey 2
And the blowouts continue. In contrast to the overcapacity opening-night crowd, today the rink was about half-full, but no less enthusiastic for the relative lack of numbers. This was an important game for Mexico, as the relatively weak Turkish side represented its best chance to hear the Mexican national anthem at the end of the match. And while Turkey’s skill level was closer to Mexico’s than it was to Bulgaria’s, Turkey had trouble skating with a Mexican side that still displayed all the weaknesses it did in its opening match against Belgium.

The result was a chippy, penalty-filled game, in which Turkey’s frustration boiled over into slashes, holding calls, roughing penalties and even a couple of skirmishes/fights. Unfortunately, the Mexican players gave as good as they got, taking their fair share of penalties instead of taking the high road and letting Turkey implode. The result was eight straight power play goals (Mexico scored three even-strength goals late in the third).

The difference between Turkey and Mexico, and the other teams in the tournament seems to boil down to teamwork. Both teams boast very smart and talented individual players who pulled off some fantastic plays and goals. However, they both lack the cohesion that would allow them to play as a unit. As a result, players seem more likely to try to make individual plays, rather than try for the three-way passes that lead to the really pretty goals; it’s also easier to defend against individual, as opposed to team, plays.

When you think about it, it’s not surprising: we’re talking about two countries for whom hockey is not exactly a national passion. As a Mexican fan pointed out to me, the Mexican team practices only about five hours a week, hardly enough to reach Canadian levels of team skill. From a fan’s point of view, so long as the teams are evenly matched (Mexico was better than Turkey, but not so much better that they didn’t have to give their all), the hockey’s bound to be entertaining.

Final Thoughts, Day Two
As the tournament comes into focus, it seems to be Spain's to lose: they're just too fast and skilled for any other team to keep up for long. I'm still looking forward to seeing Belgium play Bulgaria on Friday, and Australia seems to be a wild card: given their convincing defeat of Bulgaria, their loss to Spain may say more about how good Spain is than about the Aussies' skill level.

Meanwhile, Mexico may have just gotten their only guaranteed win of the tournament, though their match against Spain will undoubtedly rouse the home fans to fine form. As for Turkey, it's a long, hard road to the end of the tournament, and it's not going to get any easier. If they can stay out of the penalty box (if they'd played a penalty-free game, Mexico would have won by a close 3-2 score), they have a chance to stay somewhat competitive.

And coming soon: pictures! My camera's batteries died on Sunday and I wasn't able to get replacements for Day Two. But Wednesday is another day...

At the IIHF Division II World Hockey Championships (or, yes, they do play hockey in Mexico)

For a homesick Canadian who’s been in Mexico for eight months and is ready to come home, the International Ice Hockey World Championship (Division II) is a godsend: a chilly bit of Canada amidst the sunny warmth of Mexico City. From April 11 to 17, Mexico City’s Pista de Hielo Lomas Verdes is hosting the third tier of the world’s hockey powers: Australia (ranked 34th in the world), Belgium (number 36), Bulgaria (31), Mexico (32) and Turkey (37). One hundred (about $9 Canadian) gets you three games a day.

The rink
The arena itself is an honest-to-goodness community hockey rink, right down to the homey stale sweat smell. The stands – general admission benches – can maybe hold a thousand people at most, but based on the first day, overcrowding is unlikely to be a problem: for the first two games, I seem to be the only person with no personal or familial connection with the players on the ice (the Mexican team games, however, are another story). The result is actually quite nice: the atmosphere seems to be a mixture of partisan passion mixed with subdued conviviality. After the noisy, mindless nationalism of the Olympics, it’s nice to see some sports where the volume is turned down a bit.

Other nice skating rink touches: the disco ball hanging from the centre-ice scoreboard, which itself sports a timer that seems to have trouble with the number two. As an expat, it was nice to see a Canadian flag decal on the zamboni and hear Victoria’s Hot Hot Heat on the PA (doing “Goodnight Goodnight”). A few folks were even sporting NHL jerseys, although judging by what I saw (an Islanders logo, the old Canucks hockey stick logo, a Toronto Maple Leafs jersey), their NHL loyalties were formed in the 1970s or 1980s (or, in the case of the Leafs fan, pre-1967).

So far, the hockey itself has been what you would expect from teams ranked lower than even Great Britain (24). None of these teams would give even West Germany a run for its money, but, hey, it’s hockey, their worst player is better than I could ever hope to be, and for a few hours, it’s like I’m back in Canada.

Over the next week, I hope to get to as many games as possible. Short daily recaps to follow.

Day One: Sunday, April 11, 2010
Spain 6, Australia 0
The first of three no-contests on the day, as Spain completely dominates Australia. It’s not that Australia is terrible, it’s that Spain has more speed and skill than the outmatched Aussie crew. That said, the Australian goalie made some nice saves to keep the score down to 6-0, and some of the individual Australian players made some nice plays, but there’s no doubt that, in this game at least, Spain was the more complete team.

That said, the gold medal in team spirit for the first day goes to the tiny group of Australian fans, whose racket belied their small numbers.

Bulgaria 12, Turkey 3
This game was Canada-women’s-hockey-vs.-anyone-but-the-U.S. ugly.

If Spain outmatched Australia, Bulgaria had their way with Turkey. It was actually painful to watch; at times it seemed like the Bulgarians were just toying with the Turkish side. The Bulgarians would execute their plays seemingly in slow motion, taking their time to set things up just right, knowing that even at half-speed Turkey couldn’t keep up. The score, if anything, is generous to Turkey: after finishing the first period 4-0, Bulgaria let up; but every time Turkey scored, Bulgaria replied almost instantly, as if to deliver the message that they could score at will. And they did, including two classless goals in the final minute, with the game far, far out of reach. I don’t care if goal differentials are important in this tournament: it’s no fun seeing a team get embarrassed when they’re already down.

Oh, and the Bulgarian players? Built like tanks.

Opening Ceremonies
With two games in the books, the by-now-over-capacity crowd, ready to see the home team take on Belgium, is treated to an opening ceremony: girls in tight black outfits skating the flags of the participating teams, as well as the IIHF banner around the ice, joined eventually by the captain of each team, and two kids, dressed in traditional outfits, holding the name of each country.

(Although judging by the outfits, men’s traditional outfits in the participating countries consists of a pressed white shirt and dark pants. Or maybe just women have traditional costumes.)

I’d also never seen this before: the opening ceremonies were actually followed by Mexico and Belgium’s pre-game warmup and a fresh flooding of the ice. An odd choice, to say the least.

Belgium 5, Mexico 2
Easily the best game of the day, and not only because of the overcapacity crowd boisterously cheering on the home team, but because these were the teams nearest in skill to each other. Even here, however, there was no doubt about who the superior team was: Belgium scored on their first two shots, and 86 seconds into the game, the score was 2-0. Of the six teams, on the first day of the tournament, Belgium seemed to be the most cohesive (which will come as a surprise to anyone familiar with Belgium’s sclerotic federal politics, which make Canada’s seem like a model of sanity and rationality). Their passing was excellent; in contrast to the Mexican team, which seemed to be a collection of individuals making individual plays, the Belgians seemed to have set plays that they executed effectively and efficiently. They were easily the smoothest skating side of the day.

And in contrast to the compact Bulgarians, the lanky Belgians resemble an entire team of Zdeno Charas. Maybe it’s something in the water (or in that sweet, sweet delicious Belgian chocolate).

Final Thoughts, Day One
After three games, the tournament seems to be shaping up into two tiers: Spain, Belgium and Bulgaria in one, and Australia, Turkey and Mexico in the other. Turkey is the weakest team in the field: their skating and playmaking reveals hints of uncertainty, although they often play with skill as well. As for Australian and Mexico, the jury’s still out on their tournament: it would be nice to see them complement their individual efforts with a stronger team identity. And I’m really looking forward to seeing Belgium play Bulgaria on Friday.

The Unbearable Lightness of Soccer

Finally saw my first Mexican soccer – sorry, football – game last weekend. The atmosphere was amazing. Both the home and away teams had their vocal fans in the end zones, drumming on drums, chanting chants and generally having a good time. Extra points for the very serious-seeming away fans, dressed in dark blue, confined to a packed section in the away end zone and surrounded completely by police in full riot gear. I’d never seen humourless cheering before: people expressing their support for their team with military precision, complete with expertly memorized cheers and choreographed one-arm salutes. It was all very menacing, in a rote, going-through-the-motions Disney World Magical Football Hooliganism Ride sort of way.

As a Canadian hockey fan, I’d always envied soccer fans their passion, their chants, their non-scoreboard-directed cheering and their general rowdiness, but I'd never understood what was really going on. During this soccer – sorry, football – game I realized that all the chanting, all the hooliganism is a way for fans to distract themselves from the fact that soccer is, even at the top levels, a crashing bore.

Did a player skin his knee? Call out the ambulance! Fetch the stretchers! Oh, look: another nifty play at midfield that failed to develop into anything. What fun: a sport where the big question isn’t, “What will the final score be?” but rather, “Will anyone score? At all?”

A corner kick! Will it result in a goal? (Answer: No.)

We’re talking about a game whose shootout, on a net the size of a garage, has exactly the same odds (and therefore drama) of football’s – sorry, real football’s – starting coin toss.

The beautiful game? Maybe, but an oil painting can be beautiful, too, and I don’t see many people heading to the National Gallery to heckle the Group of Seven.

Come to think of it, the typical soccer game moves about as fast as an oil painting.

It's not like there aren't sports in which stuff actually happens on a regular basis. Like hockey. Or basketball. Or baseball, which really doesn’t deserve its knock as a boring sport. With baseball, the drama develops in staccato bursts that build upon one another.

Not so soccer, the Seinfeld of sports, best understood as the Brits’ overcompensating apology for cricket, a sport in which a game’s score can run into the thousands, if not millions, and that requires missing a week of work in order to attend. I mean, really: where’s the moderation?

We drink to forget. Were soccer crowds to stop their cheering and focus intently on the, um, “action” on the field, they would soon be ripping out their fingernails from the sheer boredom – the ennui, if you will – of it all. From there it would be only a few short steps to the contemplation of the meaningless of existence, existential despair and, finally, mass suicide.

Why do soccer fans cheer? To avoid staring into the abyss.

Oh, and the game’s final score? 1-0.

Of course it was.

A sincere call for more Cabinet-level airport freak-outs

Lots of schadenfreude going on with two Conservative ministers getting in trouble for airport freak-outs. I like a bout of karmic comeuppance as much as the next person, but, actually, it’s kind of nice to see these ministers acting like normal human beings.

Let’s face it: since roughly eight-and-a-half years ago, using Canadian airports has become a nightmare in which travelers are forced to undergo one indignity after another, all in the name of better security – security that any sane human being knows we’re not getting. Instead of security, we have a ridiculous mishmash of insane policies designed to provide what one expert in such matters might refer to as "the illusion of security." As Mary Lou Finlay colourfully puts it, we have a "system that … subjects little old ladies and parents with babies to the stupidity of removing their coats and jackets and shoes and belts while some minimum-wage ape paws through their personal belongings in search of a stray nail file with which the owner undoubtedly intended to take out an airliner."

Flying – or, rather, getting to your plane – has become incredibly stressful, with the long lineups, security checkpoints staffed by minimum-wage rent-a-cops, and arbitrary rules limiting how much toothpaste we can bring on a plane. The surprise isn’t that these two Cabinet ministers flipped out. The surprise is that this doesn’t happen more often.

Granted, Helena Guergis sounds like she completely lost her marbles in her Air Canada-directed freak-out, but again: there’s not a Air Canada customer alive who hasn’t been driven to violent frustration by what passes for customer service from that airline. Let he who is without sin… .

So Jean-Pierre Blackburn tried to take more than 100 mL of tequila onto a plane. Good for him: after dealing with Canada’s insane and insulting airport security rules, I’d need more than 100 mL to calm down, too.

(Seriously: how would you use a bottle of tequila to hijack a plane? I know I’d also need at least two sticks of gum and a piece of string.)

One of the ugliest things one human being can do to another is to force a person to submit to their will. The only thing worse than this is when the dominated person is forced to do something that she knows is stupid, wrong and/or counterproductive. Daily, thousands of Canadians at airports across the country are forced to submit to rules that any thinking person knows are ridiculous and humiliating.

Secondaried because your last name is Russian, 15 years after the end of the Cold War? Check.

Had the book you're reading searched and its title noted? Check.

Forced to take off your shoes and walk barefoot through a metal detector? Check.

Forced to remove your belt and have your pants fall down, all because your belt, like pretty much all belts, has a metal buckle? Check.

Forced to have your picture taken, naked, before you can get on a plane? Check.

Forced to give away a bottle of perfectly fine tequila that will end up who-knows where, because some idiot somewhere decided that people could only bring 100 mL of liquid on a plane? Check.

Flying has become a exercise in ritual humiliation and shaming, as people who know better are forced to shut up and take it in the name of being allowed to travel freely. As far as I’m concerned, we need more Cabinet-minister airport freak-outs, not fewer. Maybe if our betters are humiliated enough times, they’ll try to restore some sanity into our airport security systems.